


Big Noses

by theygo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Humour, M/M, age gap, implied - Freeform, student, teacher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-02
Updated: 2013-06-02
Packaged: 2017-12-13 17:23:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/826853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theygo/pseuds/theygo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermione reflects upon a conversation with Lavender and Parvati the night before, about the size of a boys wand in comparison to their nose. Entertaining thoughts about Snape ensues!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Big Noses

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I came up with when looking at an image of Snape with the comment 'You know what they say about big noses!' and it wouldn't go away until I wrote it. Its unbeta'd and the first piece of fanfic I've written in a while. If you're interested in beta-ing for me and/or helping me bounce around old ideas, shoot me a PM!
> 
> I own only the concept, not the characters. Rowling and her lot have those rights.

Hermione sighed as she rested her chin in her hand, gaze wandering about the classroom lazily. As usual, everyone was silent – even the Slytherins. Snape had been in a horrid mood ever since he’d had to take over potions again, and no one wanted to risk his anger.

Checking her potion briefly, Hermione gave it a clockwise stir before setting a timer on her wand and leaving it to simmer. Returning to her people watching, she noticed Lavender and Parvati scribbling on scrap pieces of parchment, and she rolled her eyes.

They had been up late the night before, discussing the boys in their year – who was the best kisser, who would be best in bed, who had the largest... wands. Hermione had refused to participate in the conversation, especially when they asked it was true about Ron. Something about big noses equalling big wands. Now the two girls had set their minds to creating lists covering their subjects of interest.

Pulling her attention away from them, Hermione twirled her wand between her fingers, anxious for the required five minutes to be up. Finally growing bored of watching her fellow students, Hermione took to watching Snape.

His head was bent, eyes intent on the essays he was marking, and Hermione wondered if it was hers he was looking at. It was certainly long enough, but Snape seemed to be crossing out quite a bit of it.

Resting her chin in her hand again, she continued to watch the professor, not particularly bothered if anyone noticed her staring. As she sat there, her mind began to wander, and it came to her attention that Snape had a rather large nose. According to Parvati and Lavender, that meant he was supposedly well endowed.

Ignoring her blush at that thought, Hermione frowned and studied Snape closer, glancing downwards occasionally. It was rather difficult to determine is his nose provided a semi-accurate measurement, as while his pants weren’t loose, they weren’t particularly tight either – and he was always wearing some form of billowing robe.

Hermione glanced down again, and this time her gaze lingered. Her seating gave her a clear view of Snape’s legs until his desk, and she found herself annoyed that he say with his feet flat on the floor instead of crossed.

Really, she began thinking to herself; the only way she was going to find out the size of his wand was if she caught him in a state of undress. As her brain was want to do, it began offering up suggestions on how she could catch him, at the very least, wearing only underwear.

It was as she was considering these options that Snape chose to look directly at her, eyes narrowed. Startled, Hermione blushed furiously, turning away from the object of her scrutiny to busy herself with her potion, which as her wand told her had been simmering for the required five minutes.

At the end of the class, as he checked each student’s potions, Snape did something rather unexpected.

“Five points to Gryffindor. A perfect brew, Miss Granger.”

There was the briefest hint of a smirk as he glanced at her, and Hermione narrowed her eyes.

_He was reading my mind and I didn’t even notice, the cheeky litt-_

Her thoughts were cut off as Snape walked past her to return to his desk.

_So much for not wearing tight pants!_ Now she just had to figure out how to confirm Lavender and Parvati’s suspicions about big noses equalling big wands. _Without_ telling them how she knew.


End file.
